


An Intentional Prayer

by Zoelily



Series: The Prayer Verse [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Pining, Prayer, Season/Series 11
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-13
Updated: 2015-12-13
Packaged: 2018-05-06 10:21:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5413166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zoelily/pseuds/Zoelily
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After arriving back at the bunker, Dean and Cas are still having a difficult time talking.  Dean turns to prayer for a second time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Intentional Prayer

**Author's Note:**

> This is the second part in my Prayer Verse. It will make more sense after reading part one, "It Could be a Prayer". I suspect there will be a part three that will up the rating ;)
> 
> This is unbeta'd. All mistakes are mine.

Castiel isn’t clear what he expected, but the silent treatment isn’t it. Sure, he’s exchanged pleasantries with Dean since they both arrived back at the bunker, but after hearing Dean’s innermost thoughts during his prayer, he expected something, anything. He feels slighted and more than a little confused. He’d hoped….well, it doesn’t matter what he’d hoped. He had clearly misunderstood.

~~~

Dean is in a foul mood! Sam is keeping secrets again. He can feel it. He’s being evasive and shutting Dean out. Amara is forefront in his own mind and it’s making him jittery trying to decipher the hold she has over him; and, Cas, well Cas is keeping his distance since Dean’s unintentional prayer. It’s as if they’re walking on eggs shells around each other, neither willing to be the first to open up the big can of worms they’re carrying around.

He can’t keep pacing around the bunker. He needs a hunt or something; a distraction of some kind to occupy his mind, but there’s nothing. Sam is too preoccupied with…well, he doesn’t even know what, and Dean is too restless to look for anything himself. Maybe if he tinkers with Baby. She could use an oil change. He strides out to the garage with a purpose.

~~~

Even though he doesn’t sleep, the Winchesters have provided him with his own room. Castiel has never had his own space before. As a member of Heaven’s host, he has always been surrounded by his brothers in arms. The solitude is enjoyable, yet oppressive. He has too much time to think. Being left to heal with instructions to ‘watch Netflix’ had eventually become too much nothingness and he is feeling the same impatience now for a different reason.

He is certain he heard Dean correctly. The more he considers the prayer he followed home, the more he is sure he didn’t misinterpret. Dean is stalling, or completely evading the conversation they need to have and Castiel doesn’t understand. Maybe he needs to take matters into his own hands. It’s obvious Dean isn’t going to.

~~~

Dean is on his back on the creeper, under baby’s front end, loosening the drain plug on the oil pan. Giving his hands something to do is distracting, but doesn’t require enough mental capacity to keep him from thoughts of how to approach Cas. He slides out, wiping his greasy hands on his jeans, as the oil drains into the basin under the Impala. Grabbing an old blanket to keep his ass off the concrete, he sits with his back to his car’s left front fender and wraps his arms around his knees.

He needs to talk to Cas. He knows he does but they’ve avoided this conversation for so long he just doesn’t know how to bring it up. ‘Hey Cas, I love you and I want to jump your, completely male but undoubtedly sexy, bones,’ is all he can come up with and that’s just not going to happen. The thought of asking Sam for help is almost worse. He bangs his head back against Baby’s shiny exterior and sighs. Maybe he should just pray again. Pretty sure Cas heard him last time. He came back fast enough.

~~~

Castiel is just about to go in search of Dean when he detects the first murmurs of a prayer from just the man he was about to try and find. Is Dean in need of assistance? He is fairly sure Dean is still in the bunker but maybe he found a case and neglected to tell Castiel he was leaving. He sinks back down on the soft mattress to listen.

_Hey Cas. Got your ears on? It’s me again._

A tiny smile graces Castiel’s face before he realizes it. Dean has never begun a prayer like your average human. No, _'Dear Castiel'_ or _'Angel, hear my prayer'_ are far too mundane for Dean Winchester.

_Um, I’m not sure what to say. I guess you probably think I’ve been avoiding you, and you’d be right. I don’t even know for sure if you heard me last time, but I’m thinking you did. You sure high-tailed it back here and I figured you’d be gone until your car turned up. Seems like this is a good alternative to trying to get this out face to face. I wonder if you’re actually listening._

Castiel swings his legs up onto the bed and rests his head back against the wall. He wishes there was a way to let Dean know he hears him, but maybe it’s better this way. Apparently Dean has something he needs to get off his chest; may as well be comfortable.

~~~

The pan has finished draining. Time to get a new filter and grab fresh oil, but Dean feels like he’s started something with this prayer business and he can’t just leave it unfinished. If Cas is listening, he’ll wonder what happened. Nope, he needs to get this out now before he loses his damn nerve.

_So, I said before that we’ve been dancing around this thing between us, this bond or whatever. I know that sexual orientation means nothing to angels but I’m straight, or I always thought I was. Hell, I’m not even sure that’s true anymore. Thinking back, maybe there were always a few guys I noticed in a not so friend-like way._

Dean runs his hand through his hair, noticing some oil must’ve dripped in it when he was under the Impala. He wonders if Cas really needs to know all this past stuff. Guess it goes a long way towards explaining things though. Yeah, he figures he better keep going.

_My Dad was the kinda guy who looked down on that stuff, ya know; called them ‘faggots’ or ‘cock suckers’. Not exactly someone who would be proud of a son that liked men. I suppose it all comes back to that. Everything does. It was always about pleasing Dad and keeping Sammy safe._

~~~

Castiel sighs. He never met John Winchester but he certainly knows of the man. Dean and Sam seldom talk about him, but Castiel knows they have mixed emotions. He loved his sons, certainly, and they loved him, but growing up in his shadow couldn’t have been an easy life. From what he’s been told, John was so bent on revenge for his wife’s death that his sons were never his first priority. He was a hard man, grizzled by the tragedy life threw at him when his sons were basically babies. His expectations were high and his praise hard-earned. In the end though, he died to save Dean, so maybe he wouldn’t have been as unsupportive as his son thought.

He closes his eyes and waits for Dean to continue.

~~~

Dean’s on a roll now.

_So now Dad’s long gone and I don’t know what my problem is. Maybe it’s just so ingrained in me now, you know, his black and white way of looking at the world; but I like to think I’m different, more in tune with my feelings. Yeah, this is where Sammy would laugh his head off. Me? Feelings? But hell, just because I don’t like to ramble on about them like Samantha, it doesn’t mean I don’t have them._

_It comes down to this, Cas. I care about you. More than just as a best friend, I guess. Ugh, that sounds so middle school. I’m not sure if you feel the same, but I kinda think you do. I’ve seen the way you look at me when you’re right up in my personal space. You make it so I can’t breathe sometimes and I want to know what would happen if I just leaned in and… Fuck! Why does this have to be so hard? What’s the big deal? If you were a chick, I’d have banged you years ago!_

And that’s just it, isn’t it? Back to the same damn hang up. He needs to get over it and talk to the man. Surely they can work through this if Dean can just nut up and go find him. Dean sighs in resignation. He knows what he needs to do.

~~~

Castiel’s eyes open wide when he hears the last part of Dean’s prayer. He can feel the warmth rush through him when he realizes what Dean is hinting at. If he were female, Dean would have already tried to have intercourse with him. The only thing stopping him is Castiel’s choice of vessel, which hasn’t been something he can change for several years now. Besides, he can’t imagine being anyone but himself at this point. If Dean truly cares about him as much as he maintains he does, then it should not matter. Humans have strange ideas though, Castiel knows.

He thumps his head back against the wall in frustration. Dean is a very stubborn man!

That’s enough, Castiel decides. He’s tired of being pushed aside. It’s time to find Dean and insist that they talk. He pushes off the bed with intent and strides to the door. Just as he’s about to open it, the door pushes inwards and he has to jump back to avoid being hit.

~~~

“Dean!” Castiel yelps, surprised to see his friend storming into his bedroom.

“Oh, hey Cas.” Dean replies, looking just as shocked. His rubs the back of his neck with his hand in a nervous gesture. “Mind if I come in?”

Castiel walks back into the room, takes a seat on the bed and pats the space beside him in invitation. Dean perches beside him, a little closer than he intended. Their eyes meet in a silent stare, neither quite sure what to do next.

Castiel breaks the silence first. “I heard you.”

Dean nods but doesn’t break eye contact. Castiel tentatively reaches out to gently caress Dean’s jaw, trailing his thumb down and over his friend’s lower lip, pulling it down slightly at the corner.

“Dean. I want to kiss you. May I? Dean nods again.

Gravity seems to pull them towards each other and finally their lips meet in the chastest of kisses. Dean releases the breath he’s been holding as he pulls back just for a moment before leaning in again and nipping at the corner of Cas’ mouth. That’s all the invitation Castiel needs. He surges against Dean, tilting his head to slot their lips together properly and parts Dean’s lips softly with his tongue. A soft sigh escapes Dean’s throat as he kisses back eagerly.

It occurs to him as he devours Cas’ mouth with his own that he came down here to talk to Cas and he still hasn’t actually said a word since entering the room. Oh to hell with it, he thinks as Cas’ kisses are now working their way to his neck and he arches his body into it. This is way more fun than talking anyway.

~~~


End file.
